2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

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Description

In this book, Richard Schwartz, the developer of the Internal Family Systems Model, applies the IFS Model to the topic of intimate relationships in an engaging, understandable, and personal style. Therapists and lay people alike will find this book to be an insightful exploration of how cultivating a relationship with the Self—the wise center of clarity, calmness, and compassion in each of us—creates the foundation for courageous love and resilient intimacy: the capacity to sustain and nourish a healthy intimate relationship. Self-leadership also allows us to embrace our partner''s feedback and use it to discover aspects of ourselves that seek healing. The book includes user-friendly exercises to facilitate learning.

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4.7 out of 54.7 out of 5
148 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Ted
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Excellent- But confusing gender usage
Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2020
By far the best modality for therapy and self understanding I''ve ever ready. Surpasses attachment theory with removing the attachment to an external person and attaching to your internal self or Self. The Magic Kitchen metaphor was amazing and so helpful to... See more
By far the best modality for therapy and self understanding I''ve ever ready.
Surpasses attachment theory with removing the attachment to an external person and attaching to your internal self or Self.
The Magic Kitchen metaphor was amazing and so helpful to me.
The description of controllers who end up sabotaging relationships by trying to make the partner into the needed savior was spot on. Perfect.
And the furthering of Gottmans theory as well where he says we can''t just learn how to fight fairly- we have to heal our own inner painful areas and parts before the controllers will stop trying to change the external mate.
and until then we will continue to trigger each other.
So enlightening.
I wish he''d highlight more of the importance of the guidance of spirit or God or higher power when we''re working in those dark dungeons- I guarantee protectors won''t trust us to make real healing happen on our own.
Why would they? we''ve failed at it for decades.
One man for example took his child''s shame and threw it over the horizon and it came back a sapphire.
um a little hokey and definitely new age-y.
My internal skeptics will never buy into that kind of ''treatment''.

But a spirit led, imago dei, higher power, guardian angel facilitated transformation...that I can believe in.

I heard an interview with Dick recently talking about this book and I was disappointed that he had forgotten the crucial metaphor of the book- the magic kitchen.

I''ve been the guy who had the children in that magic kitchen who were starving, and found the candy lady.
but the metaphor leaves out that once the candy lady is attached to then powerful controllers come out and grasp on her with powerful pincers and try to change her into what it wants- its a brutal attempted manipulation of another creature.
That said creature would eventually get sick of that manipulation and fight back and eventually leave is no surprise at all.
Unfortunately surprising the starved child/ controller and striking fear in his heart. Panic even.

I found the gender usage a bit too often tilted towards the women being the anxiously attached and the man being the avoidant one.
VERY often the man is anxiously attached. That''s a societal mislabeling.
Anyway. Loved the book. and I think he''s also from Oak Park Illinois so all the better.
17 people found this helpful
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Lindy
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Best Book I''ve Ever Bought!
Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2016
This is the best book I have ever purchased and I''ve bought a lot of books! I even paid $90 for my copy and feel that it was worth every, single penny. (However, I found it on the authors website for $25 after my purchase). Even after years of on and off therapy, no... See more
This is the best book I have ever purchased and I''ve bought a lot of books! I even paid $90 for my copy and feel that it was worth every, single penny. (However, I found it on the authors website for $25 after my purchase). Even after years of on and off therapy, no therapist ever clearly explained to me the significant impact that my painful childhood was having on my life. We all know that we have wounds but never has anyone explained it like this and then teach you what to do to really heal those parts of yourself. It was at first hard to read but by the end, it all made sense. I want to re-read it now. It truly has changed my whole outlook and brought a level of clarity that I have never known! Thank you Richard Schwartz, you are brilliant!!!!
101 people found this helpful
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Colleen B
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Awesome Self Journey to Knowing and Healing Yourself!
Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2020
AWESOME book to get to know the ‘real you’ and accept yourself and heal yourself for your own life long journey
7 people found this helpful
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Ann M
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Be There for You!
Reviewed in the United States on May 30, 2019
So helpful.
5 people found this helpful
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charles
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Superior in all respects. Recommended without qualification. A must read.
Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2015
This is a superior book by an extraordinarily innovative therapist. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) is a superior means of doing therapy with both individuals and couples. I recommend this book to every client of mine. I have known Dick Schwartz personally and will... See more
This is a superior book by an extraordinarily innovative therapist. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) is a superior means of doing therapy with both individuals and couples. I recommend this book to every client of mine. I have known Dick Schwartz personally and will always be grateful for him and what he has done for clients and therapists alike.
38 people found this helpful
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PACC
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Clear and helpful summary of IFS in relationships.
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2019
Will use this as a resource in my work.
2 people found this helpful
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Jacqueline Diaz Maldonado
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Somewhat useful
Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2019
The book has some useful material at the beginning but, at the end, is completely repetitive and it does not really provide more material than what an IFS counselor already knows.
One person found this helpful
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Amanda G.
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A must read
Reviewed in the United States on September 22, 2021
IFS therapy has been a game changer in my therapy. I have spent years trying to heal from my childhood trauma but nothing worked like IFS.
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Top reviews from other countries

Kian de la Cour
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Vital and valuable
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 13, 2019
I found this a vital and valuable guide to self-responsibility primarily it my own interactions (with others and my own parts) as well as for my work with others. My main gripe is I found the use of gendered pronouns distracting and unnecessarily hetero-normative. Easy...See more
I found this a vital and valuable guide to self-responsibility primarily it my own interactions (with others and my own parts) as well as for my work with others. My main gripe is I found the use of gendered pronouns distracting and unnecessarily hetero-normative. Easy alternatives could be “your partner”, “s/he”, “they/them” etc. Aside from that, I found it full of insightful observations and case studies and imagine it could be useful for the lay reader and therapist alike.
One person found this helpful
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Maureen Anderson
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 6, 2015
so good l keep letting others borrow it and then wish l had it back
4 people found this helpful
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Mark V Noonan
2.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
duplicated and missing pages
Reviewed in Australia on July 25, 2021
I''ve have only just started reading this book and discovered that there are a few pages missing at the start and about ten pages duplicated shortly thereafter.
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2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

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2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online

2021 new arrival You new arrival Are the One You've Been Waiting For popular (Internal Family Systems) online